Please read and observe the warning at the bottom of the page after the comment section. Please use comments to discuss this post.
As some of you know, I am divorced. Please leave all judgement up to God. You need to know something about what I went through in service to Jacquelyn, my exwife. When I first saw her, God told me to “pursue her”. That pursuit hurt so much. On a weekly basis, she would break up with me and get back together with me. That hurt so much. God would often tell me what to do and when. If I had not followed that direction nothing would have happened with her. I will skip most of the story, including a miracle that happened in the temple.
As some of you know, I am divorced. Please leave all judgement up to God. You need to know something about what I went through in service to Jacquelyn, my exwife. When I first saw her, God told me to “pursue her”. That pursuit hurt so much. On a weekly basis, she would break up with me and get back together with me. That hurt so much. God would often tell me what to do and when. If I had not followed that direction nothing would have happened with her. I will skip most of the story, including a miracle that happened in the temple.
I finally succeeded in getting engaged and later married to her. We married a little more than 20 years ago. I thought things would get better after marrying her but they didn’t. They got worse and it hurt so much emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. She was physically and mentally abusive but I thought it was fine because she couldn’t really do any physical harm. She would leave often without telling me and a few days later return.
The last time I saw her was May of 2002. We didn’t even make it to our first anniversary. Church attendance was impossible because we had just moved into that ward in Seattle and nobody knew anything except that she wasn’t there anymore and I was there. Not one person talked to me except members of the bishopric and they only talked to me as a matter of business and not genuine sympathy or empathy. I told the stake president that I needed to be allowed to attend the singles ward where no one knows anything and people would be able to at least be friendly so I could make friends. He agreed and I started to attend the singles ward. The bishop there wanted to give me a calling but wasn’t allowed because I wasn’t a member there. He said stuff like, “I’m married and I’m a member of this ward. I should be able to allow you to become a member of the ward but I can’t.” We were officially divorced on December 26, 2002.
The last time I saw her was May of 2002. We didn’t even make it to our first anniversary. Church attendance was impossible because we had just moved into that ward in Seattle and nobody knew anything except that she wasn’t there anymore and I was there. Not one person talked to me except members of the bishopric and they only talked to me as a matter of business and not genuine sympathy or empathy. I told the stake president that I needed to be allowed to attend the singles ward where no one knows anything and people would be able to at least be friendly so I could make friends. He agreed and I started to attend the singles ward. The bishop there wanted to give me a calling but wasn’t allowed because I wasn’t a member there. He said stuff like, “I’m married and I’m a member of this ward. I should be able to allow you to become a member of the ward but I can’t.” We were officially divorced on December 26, 2002.
When I was in China, a Korean girl named Jinsuk, started attending our branch in Beijing. I liked her and would take her on dates. Then she saw something at church that she didn’t fully understand and would not go on any more dates with me. Then God told me again but this time to Jinsuk, “pursue her”. I knew what happened the last time he told me that and I was scared to follow it. After talking with some leaders about the situation, I realized that I was broken. I took a whole day thinking about how to fix myself and I had no solutions so I got down on my knees to pray to God and I said something like, “I will do whatever thou asketh of me just please help me become the man I need to be.” Instantly, I was healed. I didn’t realize how much emotional weight I was carrying until it was all gone. I was finally free. I learned the atonement healed me of the injuries that were caused by my obedience to God’s command. I was a broken man that was completely healed by merely committing to God and asking for healing.
God uses our experiences to mold us into something we can’t become without those hard experiences. We should look at what we suffer through and endure as part of the path to heaven. We must submit to all that God gives us that makes us want to murmur and see it as great blessings from heaven above. He, like the blacksmith, is purifying us and molding us so we can do his work better and like the blacksmith he is molding us in the fire of our hard times.